What Bugs Me: Getting to Sleep

Know what aggravates me? The way my husband can go to sleep as soon as his head hits the pillow. We get into bed. I start out on my back. He turns to his left side. I begin to think of all that’s happened during the day. His breathing slows and grows heavy. I try to relax my facial muscles while he transcends into a gentle snore. I think of all the people I need to pray for and formulate an evening prayer. He’s snoring loud now, his breath catching every so often. I turn to my left side, the official sleeping position. He turns over and faces me. His snoring is louder and he exhales huge huffs of hot air in my face. I turn over and try to get comfortable, but my nightgown is twisted and the sheet is bunched up under me and the covers aren’t even at the top. I work to get the covers and my gown right only to find I’ve been stricken with a hot flash from wiggling around so much. I throw back the covers. By now my husband has made it to his REM sleep and is peaceful and quiet. The light from the clock is shining in my eyes so I turn it away from me. I can no longer see what time it is, but at least I fixed the glare. I start to settle down, the covers are finally right, I’m comfortable, and my eyes are growing heavy when my husband turns over and his breath catches in a snore that’s louder than ever.

Sometimes I think God designed woman to have more trouble than men  getting to sleep. Maybe it’s because He figures He can get through to us as we lay there tossing and turning. Maybe He has an epiphany to spring on us, a way we can we be more effective mothers and have a cleaner house. The wiggling and tossing and turning do have one benefit though. They’re how I control my weight. Yep. No need to exercise during the day. Not necessary to cut back on fatty foods. I’ve had a full aerobic work-out by the time I fall asleep. Good job, I tell myself at 12 am as my conscious thoughts finally start to fade.

Tell me what bugs you.